What You Make It

photo credit: my amazing mother-in-law 🙂 

Becoming a parent means making serious lifestyle changes. And one of those changes that we are still figuring out is how to get time with friends as a parent.

Just figuring out a time with everyone’s busy schedules can be crazy. Plus if you want time to yourselves, that usually involves a babysitter. But if you can’t work that out for whatever reason, you find yourself trying to have a conversation while keeping your kids from doing serious damage to themselves, others, or their environment. It’s a tricky thing.

By getting creative, you can still manage to get some enjoyable quality time with friends, while making sure the kids are all right as well. Here are some things that work well for us:

Video Phone Calls

A couple weeks ago, we had made plans with friends. And literally two hours prior, I realized I forgot to get a babysitter. Bummed, I texted them to cancel. We decided to do a video phone call instead, and actually found that it was a great way to have a good conversation, from the comfort of our own homes with the kids in bed. It sounded silly at first to me. But it’s actually a great option, whether you’re one-on-one, or as couples.

Sign Up for Activities Together

Opt to have your kids participate in extracurriculars together. (If they’re still at an age where you are part of making those decisions.) It’s a good way to have scheduled time, and often someone else is directing the kids so you don’t have to.

Meet in a Space that has Boundaries

Choose a spot that has a fence, is closer quarters, or has a special location just for kids. We try to pick parks with fences, libraries with separate kids’ rooms, and play places at local malls and restaurants. Obviously supervision is necessary, but when there are clear boundaries, it’s a little less stressful.

Ask a Couple to Babysit for You Both

We have a few friends who don’t currently have kids at home that we ask to watch ours when we want to go out with other couples. Usually they’re cool with splitting up and each taking charge of one family. Or they work together and take all the kids in one house.

Invite Friends Over After the Kids’ Bedtime

Our kids go to bed fairly early, which leaves a few hours to spend with friends if we plan it right. Divide up cooking duties, or have a game or movie night.

Get a Group Together and Rotate Babysitting Duties

Something my parents tell me they did was set up a rotating schedule with other families to watch each others’ kids. That way, the other families could get separate date nights or time with friends, while one family would babysit for all the kids one night every few months or so. Still working on that plan, but it seems like a great way for everyone to get to know each other, for the kids to bond and play, and for the parents to get time together.

Utilize Meal Time

If scheduling is an issue, narrow it down to times when everyone does the same thing – meal time! Again, it can take a lot to feed the kids and pull food together. But there are ways to make it work. Have a picnic at a park, where everyone brings their own food. Or have a potluck at someone’s house. Tackle feeding the kids’ first, and then let them play or watch a movie while the grown-ups chat over dinner.

What helpful places or tips do you have for getting time with friends as a parent?

This post is intended for audience members over the age of 21. Please drink responsibly.

Oh, adulting. The term usually refers to the things you don’t want to and don’t like doing, but have to. Or it’s the lamer option out of two choices, because you just don’t get down with spontaneity or adventures like in the past.

But there are still some things about adulting that are fun. There’s things that you don’t get to do when you’re too young and/or too broke. Like drinking wine. Wine is fun. Figuring out which kinds you like, trying different wineries, pairing it with different foods for different flavors.

I’m no wine expert. But it helps to know the basics – to know what I like, to pair with food, or to find a certain flavor. And it’s always nice to impress your friends at fancy adult dinner parties. Here’s a guide to get you started:

Wine Types

There are a few basic types of wine: white, red, rosé, sparkling, and dessert, and fortified. There are many types of each kind of wine, and since they are produced by different vineyards in different years, make for many different flavors.

• White wines usually include light or citrusy fruits like lime, grapefruit, and pineapple; flowers or herbs like ginger, honeysuckle, and vanilla; and flavors like caramel, almond, and coconut. (These are just examples –  flavors vary.)
• Red wines usually include berries like black currants, cherry, and raspberry; flowers or herbs like rose, cinnamon, or pepper; and rich flavors like clove, nutmeg, and chocolate. (Again, just examples.)
• Sparkling wines are bubbly, and include champagne and prosecco.
• Rosé is technically a red wine. They’re made with the same grapes, but the skins are removed from the juice. Sometimes rosés are blends of red and white wine.
• Dessert wines are higher in sugar.
• Fortified means liquor is added to the wine, and include port and sherry.

Range

Wines range from sweet to dry, and from light to full.

Wines are sweetened with grape sugar (generally not actual sugar), and the amount included varies to create different flavors.

A full body wine usually means a texture that is more complex, rich, and bold, while a light wine is more delicate.

Some of the most common types of white and red are as follows, usually (but not always) in this range:

Sweet & Light                                                                                                     Dry & Full 

Moscato                 Riesling                 Chardonnay             Pinot Gris         Sauvignon Blanc          (White)

Zinfandel               Merlot                   Syrah                         Pinot Noir        Cabernet Sauvignon    (Red)

How to Taste

1. Start by swirling the glass. See if the wine leaves strong “legs” or streams down the side of the glass. Notice the color and how opaque it is as well. These tell you whether it’s a light or full-bodied wine. A wine that has strong “legs” and a deeper color typically mean that it’s a full-bodied, rich flavored wine.
2. Smell the wine. What does it smell like to you? Fruity? Flowery? Sweet? Acidic?
3. Taste the wine on your tongue. Swirl it around a bit and see what flavors you notice.
4. Swallow the wine, and notice the aftertaste – how or if it changes the flavor at all for you.

Food & Wine Pairings

I’m sure it gets way more complicated than this, but here are some general ideas:

• Light, sweet wines pair well with appetizers, light foods, summer fare, etc.
• White wines pair well with fish, pasta, and white meats and sauces.
• Medium-bodied wines pair well with pizza, and grilled and roasted foods.
• Full-bodied wines pair well with rich food, such as red meats and spicy foods.
• Red wines pair well with “red” seafood (salmon, tuna, sushi), and red meats and sauces.

I also find this chart to be useful.

Okay, wine experts – what am I missing? (Or what did I get wrong? Again, not an expert.)

Also – what’s your favorite wine? I’m always up to try something new.