Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day to me.
It’s not difficult like it used to be, and I don’t mean to belittle that hurt. I remember feeling so torn on the holiday before getting pregnant. My heart would break as I saw so many new babies. It made me wonder if I would ever be able to. If this is you this Mother’s Day, or if you have lost a child, my heart hurts with you. I hope you have time to take care of yourself Sunday.
But now Mother’s Day is bittersweet for a different reason. Don’t get me wrong. I am so grateful to be the mom of two precious and adorable little boys. Being a mom to them is the best thing I can even imagine. Even though it means right now that I won’t really get a holiday on Mother’s Day – it’s pretty much going to be the same day as usual. I’ll take it.
No, Mother’s Day is bittersweet because it makes me realize how fast time is going by. Last year I had a one-and-a-half year old and just found out I was pregnant. Now one is going to preschool in the fall and another is growing faster than I can handle.
As much as it’s nice for me to feel appreciation, Mother’s Day is a holiday for me to appreciate life. I want to remember all of this.
So this year, here are some things I want to remember.
I want to remember what an incredible little person you are. You just charm everyone around you. You love your family and your friends with all your heart. (It shows when you leap and bound around the room when a friend comes over to play.) Those friends include Thomas and all the train engines (which you know by name), Blaze and the Monster Machines, all the PAW Patrol pups.
You remember and repeat things to me that I never expect. Like, “That’s so crazy!” And “I just love you.” You tell sweet stories as you play with your toys that I usually don’t understand. Your giggle is about the cutest sound ever. You put together puzzles in record time. (Even compared to me.) I always want to remember how you ask me, “Do you want to come play with me?” And I always want to say yes, even if I can’t.
I want to remember every little sweet thing you do as you grow so fast. Not only in size (that too), but in new milestones. You are super strong, and I’m curious to see if you’ll be athletic. I want to remember how your smile takes up your whole face when you’re happy. You light up when you see me and your dad and your brother. It’s fun for you to just sit and watch your big brother play. You love silly noises and the lame songs I make up with your name in them.
You startle easily when people surprise you, but just as easily calm down when I hold you. I love that you enjoy snuggling, something your brother doesn’t appreciate. It is so amazing watching you discover. I know I don’t quite give you the attention your brother got when he was the only child. But I hope I make up for it by spending time with just you as often as possible.
To both of you, thank you for making my heart full every day. I’m so thankful God picked me to be your mom.